Adventures in Dating Land

Online Drama

Posted on: February 25, 2009

So, the drama continues. I finally decide to take my dilemma to the streets: I asked my longtime friend Specs to analyze the dilemma between me and Blondie.

Specs has a rep for being a bit of a player, and a general idiot savant with women, so I figured he could shed some light on this topic for me. I copied and pasted a selected portion of the conversation below, for entertainment value and to also provide some educational information for those going through a similar sitch.

So at this point in the convo, I’v explained the situation to him, and basically asked for his help in deciphering it. Specs has thus since said that I wasn’t clear enough in my text message, asking him to “hang out” and that I should try again.

Me-So basically I should be like “ummm so are we going out or what’s the deal?”
Specs- Don’t be too confrontational, I get the vibe that he is easy to spook. You know how i’d ask him? Call him up, get in a conversation (a flirty one), and then ask him when you are going on that date. Not bitchy, but playfully cocky. Get in the mindset that you know he wants the date, you just have to provide the spark for it to happen. But trust me, if you ask him like i’m thinking, you’ll get your date.
Me- I don’t know. Like he expressly said he doesn’t like pushy or needy girls, and i’m afraid i’m going to come off like that.
Specs- That’s the beauty of asking him playfully.
Me- Ugggh. I hate that though. It sounds like such an effing game.
Specs- Thats what dating is.
Me- I just want this: I like you. You like me. We’re going to be together now. Hurray and cookies.
Specs– If only it was that easy. But seriously, trust my advice. Guys don’t like pushy, but guys do like girls who are aggressive, or aren’t afraid to get what they want
Me- Well that’s a seriously fine line, though. Kind of hard to tell when it’s being crossed.
Specs- Not as fine as you’d think. iIts pushy if you ask him a lot, or demand the next date. And its clear that if he is checking your profile, that he is still interested. You just need to make him think he is pursuing you, do what i call the “push pull’: give him a lot of attention (what you have done) then simply disappear for a week. If it works, then he will go into a sort of withdrawal.
Me- What, like i should disappear now?
Specs- Give him a call, and then, if he doesn’t answer, stop calling for a week or so. If it works, then he will call you, and you will be the one deciding if you are going to go on a date or not.
Me- What if he would call me in that time?
Specs- If he calls you in that gap, answer, because what you have done is you made him realize that he likes your attention, and then he realizes he wants it, and he calls you probably subconciously.
Me- So do i ignore him for a week then after that?
Specs- If he doesn’t answer, yes. You wait for him to get in touch with you
Me- No, if he DOES answer. Do i set up a date and then ignore him after the date?
Specs- If he DOES answer, you play the flirty, when are you going to ask me out, card, and then proceed to pay attention to him. If he DOESNT answer, lay off for a bit, and try to make him come to you.
Me- I feel like that’s what i was already doing with the generic text.
Specs- Even a generic text is still attention.
Me- Right, that’s what i mean. I thought me sending that text on sunday and then not calling or texting him at all since then was him supposed to be coming to me.
Specs- Whats it been, like 2 days? Trust me, 2 days is not a lot of time
Me- So i should now not call him? And just wait for him to respond to the text?
Specs- I say no, but you can try. Just stick to the week and a half thing if you decide to call him tomorrow or not.
Me- Ugh, well this is confusing, cause now it sounds like you’re saying that my text was definitive enough to be an ask out, when you didn’t say that before
Specs- No no, I’m not even talking about that anymore. I dont care if the last thing you told him was “i love tatter tots!” It doesn’ matter, you’ve just been clawing for his attention, so you need to make him want the attention again. Right now you are too invested, take a week, and try to think from his point of view

Does anyone agree with this line of male thinking? Think it’s way off? I need thoughts and further perspective.

I am just letting this lie for now. Frankly I’m just tired of this cat and mouse game, whether conscious or not, that Blondie’s playing at. If he calls he calls, but I’m not going to keep freaking out over him, if he’s so lame he can’t even return a simple text.

HOWEVER. Shocking new development, soon after we got off the Blondie convo.

Specs- You know what? I think you and i should go on a date.

We then proceeded to have a five minute debate over the idea that dating could ruin our friendship. And then….

Specs- Roxy, i’ll be honest with you, you intrigue me, and i’d like to go on a date with you, that’s where i am going to leave it. no wondering where i stand, no frustrating games (which i am very good at), nothing. you know where i stand, and its up to you.

So I’ve decided to give it a shot. We’re going out next Wednesday. I know, I know, PROBABLY a bad idea. But I’m keeping myself open. Besides, if I don’t give it a shot, what else am I going to blog about on my DATING blog? -.-


1 Response to "Online Drama"

There’s no turning back now!!

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