Adventures in Dating Land

If He’s Not Calling You…

Posted on: February 21, 2009

He’s just not that into you.

Or at least that’s what we all learned from the movie, of the same name, which just recently released. It’s a brilliant (and simple) notion. Straight and to the point. Because if he’s just not that into you, you move on to someone that is. At least, that’s how they play it in the movie.

In real life, however, not so easy.

Because what if “he” is a guy that you REALLY like? That you find a connection with? That you meet and start having Prince Charming fantasies? And your knight, that you feel like it’s taken you forever and a day to find, can’t find time from all his busy dragon slaying to pick up the damn phone?

If so, the feelings are a little different.

Because then the detached feelings of independence and moving on frost over, and feelings of loneliness, rejection, and bitterness set in. You gain five pounds with Ben and Jerry’s and chicken wings.

It’s easy when the person is nothing special. Easy when the date was no magical moment of destiny. But when you feel those sparks, and the other doesn’t, it’s not as simple as accepting that he’s just not into you.

Anyone else have these feelings lately? Because I have been staring at my phone for the last three days in mortal agony, willing it to ring. And whenever it does, and it’s NOT Mr. Charming, I have no interest in talking to this alternative person. All I can think about is what I’ve done wrong to deserve this technological silent treatment.

We had a great first date. We spent two nights in a row talking for five hours straight. The first date was short, coffee. But I feel like it went well. We had great chemistry, and enough in common to make us compatible, but not quite enough to allow for excitement.

There should be some kind of unspoken dating rule that a guy MUST call you to at least tell you he has no interest in seeing you again, so you are at least not wasting your life waiting on someone to call who never will.

And the worst part is when you absolutely CANNOT call him, because maybe you already have texted and left a voicemail, and anything additional would look like stalking. Most everyone is allotted one call and text, and that’s the cutoff. Anymore and you’re Glenn Close from “Fatal Attraction.” Which segues us into a whole other conversation about what IS and is NOT stalking. But another time.

For now, we deal with the problem of the phone call. And unless there is some kind of body switcher technology, or some fascist woman dictator takes over the country and passes a decree to ban such ambiguity, we women all will live in this nightmare.

Thankfully, sex dreams and vibrators are still around to satisfy.

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