Adventures in Dating Land

Kisses of Death

Posted on: January 17, 2009

It always sucks when you reevaluate your current love life situation, and you find that you either have none or one you’d rather not have. We’ve all been here, of course…yet somehow we all look around us and find we are surrounded by throngs of “happy”, simpering couples. They hang all over each other, they kiss, they hug, they do ALL this in public places…and the rest of us daydream about ramming forks through these people that have seemingly popped from the pages of a romance novel.

Are we missing something here? I’ve been in both positions, of course. Sad to say, yes, I admit to being the simpering lovestruck maiden, swooning with her boytoy on the streetcorner. It’s the lights, it’s the romance…you get swept up in it. Ah, amore! Who can blame anyone for being sappily ecstatic about being in love? Since, when you aren’t, you’re absolutely miserable?

Even, it seems, when you seem to have options. My current three prospects are as follows:

  1. Boy 1: A Jewish CSE major who spends quite a bit of his time working, thus has quite the amount of dough to throw around. Our first date, he took me to a VERY posh, upscale place in the trendy district of the city. This generally makes me very uncomfortable…and it did. I can appreciate being treated like royalty, but being the burgers and pizza girl I am, I haven’t quite grown into the fine dining persona just yet. He is, however, decently clever and a good conversationalist, as well as an obvious romantic. Other drawbacks: His one and ONLY relationship, which ended last year, was a 4 year stint…of which he found necessary to fill me in on the first time we started talking. I’m cutting him slack because he obviously has little experience in the actual dating field…but come on. That’s Dating No-Nos 101.
  2. Boy 2 is a person I’ve been seeing on and off for a few months now. We had actually parted on somewhat ill terms the last time we spoke, which was a month or so ago…but he wound up in my English class this quarter. Thus, for civility and lack of awkwardness’s sake, we’ve decided to reconcile. However, part of the reason I saw fit to stop seeing him in the first place is our very strong physical connection….one I was having a very hard time controlling in the first place. I have no desire to take it past this, or be in a relationship, but morally I’d be against just getting with someone for the sake of. However…10 weeks with this guy may crush my resolve.
  3. The final boy is either a supreme piece of work, or I’m a complete loony. We had our first date on Wednesday: This guy also has a bit of money to throw around (but not Jewish). Software programmer, out of school obviously. CUTE as hell, and great at the conversation without all the awkward dating no-no faux pas. He is certainly my favorite of the three, and the one that I could see real relationship potential going on.

However, the end of what I thought was a very successful date proved potentially disasterous, due to the one little phrase that can cause so much devastation, like the amount of plutonium to an atom bomb: “This was fun…we should do it again sometime.”

This is a veritable death wish to all single girls who have finally gone out with someone they feel they could get close to. This is the phrase that has kept Ben and Jerry in business so long. Women spend days overanalyzing this simplest of phrases, but what it comes down to 80% of the time that he’s really just not interested.

And in a weird way, I get it. Because how rude would it be to say “Well, this was actually pretty lame and I don’t really think we should plan another date.” But to build up a girls’ expectations only to have her glued to her phone for the next two weeks and crying in a tub of cookie dough…there’s still something very wrong with this picture.

I don’t have any solutions…honestly, that’s not my job. Because right now, I’m that girl, hoping that it was just a slipped up misunderstanding and I’ll be hearing from him before next Wednesday (the one week grace period in which to call again…any later than that and the chances are next to nil that he’s even going to bother). I’m still that girl wondering why the one guy I actually like the most seems to be, at least at the moment, the least interested. Why this always happens, and when the madness will end. Until then, I’ll content myself with voodoo dolls of all those “From Here to Eternity” clones that surround me.


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